The weekend after Thanksgiving Rita and I spent the night in Buckhead (next to Midtown Atlanta). We did our routine $79 bid on priceline.com. The Intercontinental Hotel mysteriously accepted our bid. In the course of our discussions we revisited His Needs Her Needs. This book gave us insights 15 years ago in how to better understand and serve one another. The 10 needs Dr. Harley lists can be for either sex, but are sometimes gender dominant. They are: affection, sexual fulfillment, conversation, recreational companionship, honesty and openness, physical attraction, financial support, domestic support, family commitment, and admiration. We are still students of marriage. We are trying to learn and grow in our relationship every day.

I asked my bride of 28 years to reflect on three questions related to marriage. Here are some of Rita’s thoughts…

What makes a successful marriage?

• Listen intently to what your spouse is saying. Not just what you think they are saying, but what they are really saying. This takes patience, time, and discernment.
• Make time for each other. Quality time flows out of quantity time.
• Hard work, love, and forgiveness.

How do you balance between children, domestic duties, and being a wife?

• Make a list and then be flexible.
• Live in the moment, by being engaged with those I am around.
• Many times I just do what I think is the right thing, and trust God with the results.

What do you need from your husband (me)?

• I need to be valued and appreciated through conversation and caring.
• I need him to be attentive to my interests, as much as his interests.
• Financial responsibility, which includes a plan and working the plan.
• Follow through with what’s agreed upon.

Recommended Marriage Resources:

i-Marriage by Andy Stanley

Choosing to Cheat by Andy Stanley

Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

Ephesians chapter 5