I have known John and Debbie Woodall since he came on staff at North Point Community Church as the Married Adult Director in 2001. I deeply admire both he and Deb’s walk with Christ and their commitment to their children. The questions they have crafted are an excellent tool for an ‘annual life audit’. Rita and I go through a similar discipline each January in anticipation of the upcoming year. Use some or all of these questions to integrate your life more fully with Christ’s and His plan for you. Enjoy!

Reflection and Preparation

by John & Debbie Woodall

The habit or practice of reflection has increased and become very important to me over time. I have noticed people are running so fast and not taking the time to sit, think, review, remember and readjust their lifestyles and schedules. With some regular times of daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly and annual reflection, it can lead to peace, stability and very purposeful living.

The following questions are to get us thinking about this past year and prepare us for “The Best Year Ever.” How am I doing in the major areas of my LIFE, MARRIAGE, FAMILY, WORK and CHURCH?

1. LIFE

A. Spirit

1) Do I love God, my Father with all my heart, soul, mind and strength?
2) Am I growing in my intimate relationship with Jesus Christ?
3) Am I living and walking by the Holy Spirit?
4) How is my time in the Scriptures? Am I delighting in and meditating on God’s Word day and night?
5) Do I find myself praying more or less about all things?
6) What 3 spiritual practices generated the greatest benefit?

B. Soul (Mind, Will and Emotions)

1) What am I doing to daily renew my mind?
2) Are my thoughts pure, lovely, noble, truthful and full of praise?
3) What are the best three books I read last year?
4) What kind of choices did I make last year?
5) Did I choose the way of life versus death? Did I choose the way of the Spirit versus the way of the flesh? Did I choose to walk by faith versus walk by sight?
6) Was I full of love, joy, peace, patience and self-control?
7) Was there any anger, guilt, greed or jealousy that needs to be resolved?

C. Body (Did I live in B.A.L.A.N.C.E?)

1) BREATHING - Am I getting enough oxygen in my blood?
2) AWARENESS - Am I paying attention to what is going on in my body?
3) LIQUIDS - Am I drinking enough water?
4) ANTIOXIDANTS - Am I taking the right of Multi, C and E?
5) CONDITIONING - Am I exercising 3-5 times a week?
6) EFFECTIVE REST - Am I getting 7-8 hours of sleep?
7) What three ways will I take better care of myself this next year?

2. MARRIAGE

A. Intimacy

1) Does my wife know she is the #1 priority relationship on the planet?
2) Am I loving my wife as Christ loves the church?
3) Are we praying together on a regular basis?
4) Are we regularly sharing what we are learning from our own relationship with Jesus Christ?
5) Am I washing and cleansing her with the Word of God?
6) Am I carefully listening to her thoughts, feelings and desires?
7) Are we enjoying many sexual and non-sexual touches?
Are we enjoying romance and physical intimacy on a regular basis?
9) Did we have an awesome anniversary celebration?
10) Have we enjoyed quarterly getaways?
11) Did we have our monthly MSM, Marriage Staff Meetings?
12) How was our “Weekly Focus” time?
13) Did I provide her the structure or spontaneity she needs and desires?
14) Did I give her the full and focused attention she deserves?
15) On a scale of 1-10, how would my wife rate our marriage?
16) What needs to be done to get it to a 10?

B. Finances

1) Did we honor the Lord with the first fruit of all our increase?
2) Did we give generously and cheerfully?
3) Did we save appropriately?
4) Did we invest for the future proportionately?
5) Did we spend moderately?
6) What financial adjustments must we make for this next year?

3. FAMILY

A. Father

B. Son

1) How am I doing as a son?
2) How did I honor my Father and Mother this past year?

C. Brother

1) How am I doing as a brother?
2) How did I love and care for my brothers and sisters?

4. WORK

A. Did I see my work as a gift from God?
B. Did I do my work as unto the Lord?
C. Am I living as a man under authority showing respect, gratefulness, a servant and quiet spirit?
D. Am I showing excellence and diligence in my work?
E. Am I taking the low place and trusting God for His invitations, appointments and exaltation in His time?
F. Am I “choosing to cheat”?
G. What three work relationships need more time?

5. CHURCH/MINISTRY

A. Am I living in community with other believers?
B. Am I investing, influencing and inviting other outsiders?
C. Where did I strategically serve in my local church?

Some additional questions:

6. In reviewing last year, what areas reveal the most progress? The least progress?

➢ Most –

➢ Least –

7. What is the wildest, most unconventional thing I could do this next year to live with more passion? What out of the box thinking could we do?

8. Who will hold me accountable to be my best self this next year?

9. The most significant way I will influence others is…

10. List 3-5 of your best achievements this past year.

11. Strengths and Successes – Identify what has worked well this past year.

12. Struggles and Stresses – What has not been working so well?

13. Habits – What are the most purposeful daily habits you could develop/upgrade over the next 12 months? Develop 1 habit at a time, not 2, not 5.

14. Clutter – Identify 3 messes or clutter projects you’d like to clean up in the next 12 months? Clutter can be anything that is taking up room in my mind…for example we have 1000 AU’s (Attention Units) and anything from a sick relative, to wayward child, to troublesome marriage, to bitterness can all take up mental and emotional capacity. We must un-clutter our minds so that we can reach full potential.

15. Character – Proverbs 22:1 says, “A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold.” Identify 3 qualities you’d like to see associated with your name as well as how you’d define each quality. I wrote the following for me.

1. Loving – That I fully received the love of God into my life and loved Him and people in return

Matthew 22:37-39 - Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ [38] This is the first and greatest commandment. [39] And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

2. Humility – Taking the low place before God and others

Luke 14:7 When he noticed how the guests picked the places of honor at the table, he told them this parable: 8 “When someone invites you to a wedding feast, do not take the place of honor, for a person more distinguished than you may have been invited. 9 If so, the host who invited both of you will come and say to you, ‘Give this man your seat.’ Then, humiliated, you will have to take the least important place. 10 But when you are invited, take the lowest place, so that when your host comes, he will say to you, ‘Friend, move up to a better place.’ Then you will be honored in the presence of all your fellow guests. 11 For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”

3. Servant – That I was more interested in the needs of others than myself.

Mark 10:43-44 – Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, [44] and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all.

Foundation

Colossians 3:1-17
Christ commands for our sinful self to be put to death, “Put to death therefore, whatever belongs to the earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed” (Colossians 3:5). Once we surrender and allow Christ to put to death the old self we are to be consumed by the new self Christ has for us, “Put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge and in the image of its Creator” (Col. 3:9). This new self is a life characterized by “Compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.” (Col. 3:12,13) Ultimately our mind should be so consumed with Christ that it naturally filters out what is not honoring to Him.

1 Corinthians 6:12-20
Our bodies are the temple of God. They are special and bought with the ultimate act of love… the death of Christ. We are to honor Him by preserving what He died by abstaining from sexual immorality. “Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own: you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).

Philippians 4:8
We are called to be consumed by the thoughts of Christ and are to dictate our lives.
“Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy think on these things” (Philippians 4:8). Inevitably a life characterized by these traits will lead to a life of peace.

Mission

Our mission is to glorify God in everything that we do. We seek to specifically honor and glorify Him in relating to each other throughout the process of our relationship.

Purpose

Our purpose is to strive to serve and honor each other while seeking God’s best for the relationship. Throughout this process we will continue to grow to a deeper level with each other.

Strategy

Our strategy is to honor and protect each other’s whole person (emotions and body) while seeking God’s best for our lives.

Tactics

• Spiritual

“We pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power in according to his glorious might so you may have great endurance.” Colossians 1:10,11

Commit to spending time in the Word daily and working on our personal relationship with God
Commit to specifically praying for the relationship and each other
Commit to memorize scripture together, starting at one verse a week

• Time

“May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful.” 1 Thessalonians 1:23

Weekday Time: Set a ending time at the beginning of the evening
Commit to never stay out together past 12:00 AM
Weekend Time: Set an ending time at the beginning of the evening
Commit never to stay out together past 2:00 AM
Group Function: Commit to only spend 30 minute alone after the function
Plan: Have a specific plan on how we are going to spend our time together

• Space

“Flee the evil desire of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart” 2 Timothy 2:2

Commit to never be in a house or apartment alone
Commit to never be alone in a bedroom
If alone in another room, leave door open
Commit to never lie down together
Commit to have a light on in a movie

• Emotional

“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life…let your eyes look straight ahead and fix your gaze directly before you” Proverbs 4:23, 24

Protect each others emotions by being cautious and thoughtful in our words and actions
Commit to not refer to the far future too soon
Commit to being conscious and purposeful in encouragement and expression of love languages
Commit to not talk about anything sexual or suggestive
Commit to not be sole confidant on deep issues, with others (accountability partners, parents) not being confided in as well
Commit to limiting prayer time alone together

• Physical

“Offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God- this is your spiritual act of worship” Romans 12:1

Commit to no French kissing or kissing for long periods of time
Commit to no kissing on a couch or secluded places
No kissing in a car
Commit to keeping hands in proper places
Limit hugging for extended periods of time

• Accountability

“The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge; the ears of the wise seek it out”
Proverbs 18:15

Seek accountability from peers and older mentors
Give accountability partners a copy this document
Openly communicate about the relationship:
Have them ask specific questions
Keep them informed on what will happen during time together

We agree to the above written document.