Husbands need the support of their wives. Of course, it works both ways, as the wife needs to feel the support of her husband; but for a man, support is huge. A God-fearing husband knows the Lord has placed him in a position of leadership. It is overwhelming sometimes because he can feel squeezed by the pressures of life. The last thing a husband needs to feel is distance or distrust from his wife. Wives, your encouragement may be the only thing that is preventing him from giving up, so do not underestimate the strength of your support. Your affirmation is valuable and powerful for the ongoing success of your husband. Men are not as self-sufficient as they may seem.

On the outside he may seem invincible, but on the inside he is needy and desperate for recognition and validation. A man needs to know his wife trusts his decision-making and his ability to provide for his family. Her confidence in him propels his self-confidence to higher levels. Your belief in your husband builds him up to believe in himself. It is difficult for a man to rise any higher than the opinion of his helpmate. Men long to be built up by their brides, so brag on him in public and affirm him in private. Look to your husband as the leader God has placed in your life. Pray for him to lead lovingly and wisely. Be patient, so as not to usurp his authority when things are not getting done. Trust him with God, for He can handle him. Give him over to God and trust in the accountability of the Almighty. Sometimes a man needs to fail before he can be successful.

As a husband, it is imperative in God’s sight that you lovingly lead your wife and children. You may feel your wife is more qualified, smarter, and more spiritual. These all may be very true. However, God’s plan is for you to take the position of leadership in the home. She is looking for you to do whatever God has told you. Prayer is your mantle of responsibility. See it as a privilege to enjoy and not an obligation to tolerate. She will trust you more and more as you remain trustworthy.

It takes time to overcome a track record of distrust. Remain in the process of listening to God, following His commands, and then leading your family to do the same. There are days you don’t feel like leading or even listening to the Lord. Life can be overwhelming. It can get you down to the point of wanting to walk away from all your responsibilities. But by grace, you carry on in your commitment to Christ, your wife, and your children.

It is foolish to flee from your responsibilities as a husband and father. Fools give up, but God has you in this position so you can learn about Him and His plan for you and your family. Do what He says with passion and abandon. It may mean moving to another country. It may mean downsizing for a season. It may be organizing a family vacation. It may mean planning the calendar and budget for the upcoming year.  Men, love leads. Love follows God and leads his family. Give your wife the assurance that you listen to and follow God. She will respect you and trust you for this. Wives, support your husbands in ways that make him feel supported. Wife support is life support.

Taken from the June 16th reading in the 365 day devotional Seeking Daily the Heart of God.

Additional Resource: eBooks- Wisdom for Fathers (free in June), Wisdom For Mothers, Wisdom for Graduates, Infusion and Seeking Daily the Heart of God… click here: http://bit.ly/jHlNX0

Additional Resource: Hard copy of 365 day devotional: Seeking Daily the Heart of God and 90-day devotional Infusion… click here: http://bit.ly/bQHNIE

Support Wisdom Hunters: Learn how you can help us reach other Wisdom Hunters with your monthly donation… click here: http://wisdomhunters.com/support-wh/

True love transitions from the thought of living together—to the commitment of living together forever in marriage. It is not a man-centered conditional love, but a Christ-centered unconditional love. There is fidelity of focus on their faith in God and their faith in each other. Couples with true love see marriage as a reflection of their relationship with Jesus.

Marriage is much more than a contract between couples; it is a covenant before the Almighty. It is a solemn agreement between two God-fearing souls that honors heaven with vows of commitment on earth. Marriage is sacred to your Savior Jesus, because it communicates His love through the most intimate love between a husband and a wife.

“As a young man marries a young woman, so will your Builder marry you; as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you” (Isaiah 62:5).

What’s holding you back from an unconditional commitment to marriage? Fear of it not working out—fear of losing control, freedom and finances—or is it a selfish motivation to have sex and some security without any long-term obligations? Marriage, modeled on your relationship with Christ, purifies motives and brings joy to Jesus and to your life.

Indeed, preparation is needed before you are pronounced husband and wife. Invite professionals with a Christian worldview to use diagnostic tools and assess each others needs based on spiritual maturity, personality, temperament, giftedness and upbringing. Pre-marital education is meant to equip you on how to best love and serve your intended.

“Love and faithfulness meet together; righteousness and peace kiss each other… Righteousness goes before him and prepares the way for his steps” (Psalm 85:10, 13).

Above all else, prepare your heart for your future husband or your future wife. Give your heart first to the Lord and He will give heaven to your marriage. True love trusts God first and then trusts the one who has given themselves to Christ in holy commitment. Jesus blesses weddings that honor Him and that honor each other in unconditional love.

“What Jesus did here [at the wedding] in Cana of Galilee was the first of the signs through which he revealed his glory; and his disciples believed in him” (John 2:11).

How should we honor each other with a wedding and marriage that honors the Lord?

Related Readings: Jeremiah 29:6; Malachi 2:14; Luke 20:34; Hebrews 13:4

Additional Resource: eBooks- Wisdom For Mothers, Wisdom for Graduates and  Infusion  get your copy… http://bit.ly/jHlNX0

Additional Resource: Hard copy of Infusion and Seeking Daily the Heart of God… click here: http://bit.ly/bQHNIE

Support Wisdom Hunters: Learn how you can help us reach other Wisdom Hunters with your monthly donation… click here: http://wisdomhunters.com/support-wh/

Even successful marriages are fraught with mistakes. Marriage lessons are learned by trial and error or trial and terror, as some husbands and wives have experienced. Indeed, successful marriages don’t just happen by chance. They are not created like a clock, to be wound up and never given attention.

You become one flesh in marriage, but in reality it takes a lifetime of hard work, forgiveness, love, and respect to enjoy oneness. One flesh implies unity of purpose. It is an alignment around beliefs and behavior, and if this is void in marriage, you become vulnerable to misplaced expectations and perpetual misery. Marriage requires at least as much work as work.

Hard work is a necessity for successful marriages. This seems obvious, but we tend to drift toward being spousal sluggards when we become intoxicated by apathy. However, hard work is the fuel that keeps a marriage moving forward. We see the fruit of hard work in our career and raising children, as it produces satisfaction and significance. But these results come from many hours of planning, communicating, training, and teaching. Indeed, your marriage is a direct result of the amount of effort you have expended.

Don’t expect a harvest of marriage success if the seeds of forgiveness, love, and respect have not been planted in the soil of humility and trust. Furthermore, the weeds of busyness have to be intentionally pulled out, before they choke out your love and friendship with your spouse. Busyness is the enemy of the best marriages, so labor toward a marriage with much margin. Robust marriages take time and trust.

Forgiveness in marriage means you take the time to say, “I was wrong” and “I am sorry,” and it means you take responsibility to confess your anger and selfishness. Moreover, it is the ability to not hold a grudge. God-like forgiveness forgives even before the offense has been committed (Colossians 3:13). It accepts apologies and does not bring up past hurts as a club of resentment. Forgiveness is the footers in the foundation of a successful marriage.

Above all else, successful marriages are made up of unconditional love and radical respect. No wife has ever complained of too much love, or a husband of an over-abundance of respect. Love is emotional, physical, and volitional. Husbands, you are to love sensitively, intimately, and willfully (Ephesians 5:25). Wives, respect your husband out of love and loyalty.

Make sure he knows you are with him and for him, no matter what. Respect is devoid of fear, so you trust your husband because he is accountable to God. Furthermore, marriage is your laboratory for Christianity because you learn to live for the Lord by learning to live for each other. You die to yourselves and come alive to each other. Marriage is your mirror of obedience to Jesus. Successful marriages reflect your oneness with your Savior. Be a marriage success as God defines success.

Taken from the February 26th reading in Seeking Daily the Heart of God.

Additional Resource: Download your free e-book, Wisdom for Dads: Eleven Daddy/Daughter dates in 2011, click here… http://bit.ly/hSDSk8

Additional Resource: Read recent and brief encouraging stories from fellow Wisdom Hunters… click here: http://bit.ly/ggJzWk

Support Wisdom Hunters: Learn how you can help us reach other Wisdom Hunters with your monthly donation… click here: http://wisdomhunters.com/support-wh/

“Let us go early to the vineyards to see if the vines have budded, if their blossoms have opened, and if the pomegranates are in bloom—there I will give you my love.” Song of Songs 7:12

Many things compete with our marriages. Work competes with our marriages. Children compete with our marriages. Parents compete with our marriages. Money competes with our marriages. Hobbies compete with our marriages. Friends compete with our marriages. Volunteerism competes with our marriages. Our own selfish desires compete with our marriages. Life in general competes with our marriages.

So, it is wise to transform this competition to our marriages, into a compliment to our marriages. When we make marriage a priority, the other important things that clamor for our attention, become secondary and supportive. Marriage is not meant to get the leftovers of our lives. Its vitality will melt in the face of neglect. Yet, if we are intentional with our marriage appointments, it will flourish with freshness and energy.

Indeed, something in our life becomes a priority when it is recognized and embraced by our calendar. A marriage void of calendared appointments is a candidate for indifference with intimacy. Husbands and wives need focused and quantity time with each other. Quality time flows out of quantity time, and is a consequence of a distraction-less environment. Cell phones are silenced, and there is a cease-fire from interruptions. There is a ‘fast’ from e-mail, so there can be focus on friendship. Co-existing does not create intimacy in marriage, but intentionality toward intimacy does.

Therefore, make an appointment to love your spouse. Pull out your calendars and create a time for just the two of you. The best gift you give to your children, next to faith in God, is a healthy marriage. Make an appointment for emotional love. Make an appointment for physical love. And make an appointment for relational love. Emotional love may be unfiltered listening and learning about the fears and fantasies of the other. Make your spouse feel secure by being trustworthy and respectful. Listen intently to their struggles and disappointments. Emotional love thrives on unconditional care and concern.

Secondly, facilitate physical love. Fatigue and busyness are twin tyrants looming over physical love. However, you can dethrone these tyrants with focused time. Romance one another with a date night. Dress up and smell good, as if it were a grand occasion. Woo each other with the fire and excitement of youth. Yes, physical intimacy needs to be planned and prepared, and any spontaneous rendezvous become dessert to your dates.

Lastly, regularly rejuvenate relational love, as your spouse’s best friend. Enjoy a hobby together. Read a book together. Watch a movie together. Love on each other with written notes and acts of service. It may even be working on a project around the house or planning the finances. Make relational deposits in your marriage and your bank account of intimacy will increase. Above all else, make an appointment to love God, and be loved by God. Your spouse will love you better, if they love Jesus more than they love you.

How can I create a romantic environment my spouse would love and appreciate?

Related Readings: Song of Solomon 1:1-17; 2:14-17; 1 Corinthians 7:3-5

Additional Resource: Look next week for the free e-book, Wisdom for Dads: Eleven Daddy/Daughter dates in 2011.

Additional Resource: Learn from Russ Crosson’s video blog, “Raising godly sons”, click here… http://bit.ly/ik4tjV