My son-in-law Todd Coons and four of his friends meet monthly for accountability. Below is a good outline to follow as you are developing your own accountability group. I joined an accountability group 8 years ago and it has been a great value in keeping my life encouraged and accountable. Enjoy! Boyd

Men’s Breakfast – Accountability Group
2008 Outline
As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another
Proverbs 27:17

Purpose of Group:

To productively build relationships and community, and to participate in prayer, encouragement, and accountability with other men in the small group Bible study.

Frequency / Setting of Group:

Meet for breakfast once a month at same agreed upon location and time, unless another time and place has been designated. Each man will be responsible for his own breakfast payment.

Structure of Group Time:

I) Begin with relational time, general hang out, and breakfast order

II) Open in prayer, person leading/facilitating time opens or appoints another to lead

III) Discuss the following three questions, each on a major aspect of a man’s life. Take time for each guy to answer briefly:

1) Relationship with God: What is God most teaching you these days?

2) Relationship with wife/ family: What are you learning from your family?

3) Relationship with work: What is your number one issue at work?

IV) Discuss topic of the month – Either decided in advance, or a pertinent topic that is brought up by members of the group during question answer/discussion time.

V) Close time in prayer, again person leading/facilitating time closes or appoints another to lead

Group General Guidelines:

1) Everything discussed in the group is to remain confidential, unless otherwise specified.
2) Each participant does not have to answer questions or participate in topics in which they do not feel comfortable.
3) Group members will take turns facilitating the prayer and discussion time.
4) Group members will be asked to make maintaining consistent attendance, though not binding, a priority in their lives. Commitment will be made on a semester by semester basis to follow church calendar.

Future ideas for group:

Blueprint for Life – Life planning and coaching system

Man in the Mirror – Patrick Morley

Love and Respect – Emerson Eggerichs

Conformed to His Image – Ken Boa

Every Man’s Battle – Arterburn / Stoeker

Captivated – John and Stasi Eldridge

Experiencing God – Henry Blackaby

Perfect Leader – Ken Boa

Visioneering – Andy Stanley

Dan Glaze knows how to love on and invest in people. This is his job at National Christian Foundation where he’s a National Relationship Manager. Rita and I love him and his wife Donna. Below are three questions I asked him regarding relational investments…

1. What does it mean to invest in others relationally?

Investing in others relationally is sharing life upon life. Today’s culture is driving us toward isolation. We are spending more time looking at a computer screen than being face-to-face with people. I am confident that life cannot exist outside the context of relationships. We have limited time and energy and thus the most important use of our time is in the lives of others. Investing in others relationally means laying aside our desires for self and giving our life to someone else. (BTW – this is what Jesus did)

2. Why do you invest in others relationally?

There is a saying that only two things will last eternally – God’s Word and People. What then is worthy of our investment? Transformation (life change) takes place in relationships, not in isolation. I desire to be God’s touch into people’s lives. There is nothing more important than sharing life together. Someone said; “Shared joy is a double joy and shared sorrow is half a sorrow.” People are lonely today because they are building walls instead of bridges. But the main reason I invest in others is because this was God’s strategy for bringing life to a dead world. Emmanuel (God with us) selected purposeful proximity as His strategy. He could have come as an idea or a light, but He came as one of us and walked with us. The word relationship comes from the Latin relationem meaning “a bringing back, restoring.” So many, including ourselves, have the tendency to get off track to who God desires us to be. Relationships bring us back and restore us to who God created us to be. Having an intimate relationship with HIM.

3. How do you invest in others relationally?

I pour my life into the lives of others. I care for them. I invest in others by being more concerned with their needs than my own needs. I take a keen interest in their lives, their relationship with Christ, their families, their businesses, and their hobbies. There is one couple Donna and I met back in 1994. That year Donna and I intentionally decided to invest in this couple’s lives. What an amazing journey over the last 13 years. Each year, we spend 4 days together at their lake house laughing, eating, praying, crying, fishing and loving on each other. Chuck and Joanne have become almost as close as family. As I seek to serve and give to others, I end up receiving far more than I give. God’s economy is upside down from today’s culture. As I invest in the lives of others, God gives my life a huge return. There is no greater ministry than investing in others. Anthony D’Angelo states – “Treasure your relationships, not your possessions”. Relationships will give a greater return. “You have given us a new commandment to love one another even as You have loved us; so we must love one another. By this all men will know that we are Your disciples, if we have love for one another.” (John 13:34)

Health Decline

As time passed, I went to work in churches and Dad and Pat did their thing. At best dad maintained his health, however in 1989 he had open-heart surgery. I flew into Cedar Rapids, Iowa to be with him and Pat. I prayed for him before he went in and wept for him when he came out of surgery. I hurt for him as he lay there. The surgery was inevitable, however his heart was never to be the same .

The dysfunctional heartbeat needed correction. Doctors attempted to help with a new, still-being-tested defibrillator, which malfunctioned and caused dad more problems. Eventually his heart became stable when the defibrillator was replaced with a working one and a pacemaker was added. Along the way, medication helped his heart, but caused kidney failure so for the last 3 ½ years of dad’s life. He experienced kidney dialysis five times a day in one-hour intervals.

Pat

I want to publicly thank and appreciate Pat, my step mom, for loving my dad through thick and thin. These thirty-two roses represent their thirty-two years of marriage. She has been an unsung hero loving dad, caring for dad, laughing at his jokes, and being the helpmate and loving wife during very difficult circumstances. I told her she has earned her PHD in health care with her experience with doctors, hospitals and caring for dad. Pat, I love you very, very much and I thank God for your heart and life. Your service and life has not gone unnoticed. Great will be your reward in heaven. Jesus said it like this, “When you give one of these a cup of water, it is like you gave me a cup of water.”

A Friend

I give you this background because I want you to understand somewhat of who was George Bailey. Similar to the character of Jimmy Stewart played, Dad has friends like you who loved him very much. You are his resume. You invested in each other, and because of that you are better people. Friendships are life-long, they compound over time. Dad was rich because of the friendships he had with you. Dad was also a giver.

A Giver

Dad was a Shriner, he gave to support the local effort to help sick children. Children had a soft spot in Dad’s heart. He loved his grandchildren, Rebekah, Rachel, Bethany and Anna Grace. His mind was sharp, always capturing those details that only a caring grandfather would remember. How is their school? Tell me about their basketball. Any boys hanging around? One Christmas Dad and Pat came to stay with us. During their stay he hired three men to build the girls a playhouse you would have thought was the Ritz Carlton. The girls still affectionately call it granddaddy’s playhouse.

A Fighter

Dad was also a fighter. The reason he survived a heart attack at age 33 was his ability to persevere, move forward, and never give up. Life to Dad was a daily adventure. He knew he was living on borrowed time, as early as age 40. He was extremely conscious that everyday was a gift from God. Maybe that’s why he was so mature, focused and sometimes demanding. I love dad because he wanted to live life to its fullest, not waste a minute. That’s one reason why I think his last 3 ½ years were extra hard on him, being confined to home.

A Christian

The last point I want to mention is dad’s faith. Many have prayed for dad’s spiritual and physical health over the years. Many of those prayers have been answered and I want to personally thank you. One of those prayer requests was for dad to know God in a personal way through Jesus Christ. It came after one of his near death experiences. From his hospital bed, on the phone, he expressed to me, that God had a purpose for him. That had allowed him to live for a reason. He believed in Christ and wanted to do His will.

Soon after this Dad and Pat came to our home during Thanksgiving. The girls, Rita and I gave him a Bible, which he cherished and was very grateful. He started attending a Bible study at a local church lead by the pastor.

Conclusion

I love my dad. Thank you for being a part of his life. I am grateful God gives us the hope of seeing him again. Events like these are a good time for all of us to take a personal inventory. The Bible teaches to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord. Will the minister be able to stand at your funeral one day and say with confidence you are present with the Lord? If not, this is a very good time to settle that issue by trusting Christ as savior and Lord.