Intimacy trusts and lack of intimacy distrusts. It is through the process of getting to know God and understanding His heart that grows our trust in Him. There is nothing to be learned about the Lord that causes distrust. On the contrary, the more we get to know Jesus—the more we trust Jesus. The unusual affection of Almighty God becomes evident once we engage deep with Him. Trust only buds at salvation—but over time it blossoms with intimacy.

The brand name of Jesus has no peer even close, because its purity is without rival. Even the most trusted names you know are nowhere near the value of the name Jesus. Wise Christians are the ones who really get to know and trust the Savior of their soul. Jesus Christ is their trusted advisor, because of the intimate knowledge they have of Him.

“LORD Almighty, blessed is the one who trusts in you” (Psalm 84:12).

Is it hard for you to trust God in general and people in particular? If so, what is your intimacy factor with both? Perhaps it is low because a person has let you down, or the Lord did not answer a prayer to your pleasing. Intimacy takes intentionality—it does not happen as an afterthought or happenstance with positive feelings. It is a labor of love.

Do you really trust your spouse or friend? You say, well their track record of trust is littered with let downs, “How can I trust them?” Grace gives second changes, it thinks the best and believes the Lord can transform someone’s distrusting behavior into a trusting lifestyle. Indeed, you will live in fear and stress, if you deny them intimate opportunities.

“Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God” (Romans 15:7).

Intimacy takes into account other’s bad actions, but looks beyond the hurt to what’s in their heart. A child of God has a heart that has been redeemed, but still needs ongoing renewal. When you accept your spouse or friend unconditionally you position your relationship for an intimate encounter. Acceptance receives willingly another’s warts and loves unconditionally in spite of their offenses. It enters into a room of intimacy and a home of trust.

Therefore, seek out the never forsaken love of the Lord—believe it, receive it, give it. It is intimacy with the Almighty that fuels intimacy with family and friends. Intimacy is not about who wins—it’s about who listens, accepts, understands and comforts. A combative spirit kills intimacy and tortures trust, but a kind spirit enlivens intimacy and frees trust.

“The LORD is trustworthy in all he promises and faithful in all he does” (Psalm 145:13b).

How can I grow in intimacy and trust with Jesus and those who know me the best?

Related Readings: Proverbs 16:20; Isaiah 12:2; Galatians 6:2; Ephesians 4:31-32

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When we chose to follow Jesus not everyone will speak well of us. This comes with the territory and our commitment to Christ. It should not alarm us, since this is how Jesus was treated. The crowds praised Him for His authoritative teaching, but there always seemed to be a jealous group lurking. His authentic life condemned their hypocrisy. His clear teaching made the teaching of the religious leaders look complex and controlling.

Not well spoken of is the part of the cup we must drink from as a disciple of Jesus Christ. If we try to please everyone—we run the risk of pleasing no one. People intimidated into pleasing people become anxious, fearful and exhausted. Pleasing all the people—all the time is not possible—it is futile. You cannot do enough to satisfy some people.

“You don’t know what you are asking,” Jesus said to them. “Can you drink the cup I am going to drink?” “We can,” they answered” (Matthew 12:22).

Why are some people chronic complainers? Their insecurity craves attention, their pride demands attention and their pain requires attention. Their hurt has caused them to lose perspective and, unfortunately, you may become the object of their frustration. But by God’s grace you can love them through this unsettling time. You know better.

You can give them what they have denied you. Your patience and forgiveness will go a long way in loving them to Jesus. It is your life that validates your words during times of duress. Do not be surprised when others do not speak well of you. They may not have a context to understand, because they may not have Christ.

Moreover, it does matter what God thinks about you. Fortunately, by faith, God accepts you in Christ. However, your ongoing maturity in the faith is a concern of His. He does expect you to trust Him more and fear man less. He desires for you to have a love relationship with Him that is intimate, interesting and instructive. His affection is your affirmation.

When the Lord affirms your place in life, then you can rest assured. Do not waffle when the conflicting opinions of others seek to urge you their way. Your stability is in God. He is your rock and refuge. His validation matters most, so rest in Him and do not react to the unrealistic expectations of others. Only you, led by the Holy Spirit, can define God’s expectations.

There is a good chance someone will not understand your faith walk and therefore give you grief. Doing the right thing may cost you a relationship or financial remuneration. Indeed, be concerned if no one is not speaking well of you. Your obedience to Christ may draw out the firestorm of criticism from some, or it may be their subtle rejection that stings. Either way, pray for and love them regardless of their unfounded words. God knows and that’s all that really matters. Listen for His well-spoken words instead!

“ He received honor and glory from God the Father when the voice came to him from the Majestic Glory, saying, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased” (2 Peter 1:17).

How can I value the well-spoken words of Jesus more than man’s?

Related Readings: Luke 3:22; Mark 8:34; John 8:25; Hebrews 11:4

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What does it mean to have quality of life? Good health? Harmony at home? A happy heart? Financial security? Freedom of speech and worship? A fulfilling career? Grateful and content children? A meaningful marriage? A life of significance? Peace with God? Probably some of these elements and more make up a life worth living—a quality life.

Moreover, the quality of our life is determined by the quality of our relationships. Who we spend time with is who we become. If we spend time with those wise in their finances and if we pay attention, we can become wise in our finances. If we are intentional in our faith, we will worship with those of great faith. Our life is a reflection of our relationships.

“Therefore I urge you to imitate me. For this reason I have sent to you Timothy, my son whom I love, who is faithful in the Lord. He will remind you of my way of life in Christ Jesus, which agrees with what I teach everywhere in every church” (1 Corinthians 4:16-17).

So, how is your relational portfolio? Are you diversified with people who bring value to all aspects of your life? Conversely, are you intentional to invest time and interest in those who look to you for guidance? Quality of life flows from not just receiving wisdom, but from giving wisdom. Wisdom works both directions for the good of the relationship.

Furthermore, be careful not to excuse bad behavior, because you are trying to relate to questionable company. Draw a line far away from eroding your character’s creditability. You can influence others for good, without being bad. In some situations, what you don’t do defines you more than what you do. Use business trips and vacations to model faithfulness not foolishness. Stand for what’s right—when others agree to what’s wrong.

“Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character” (1 Corinthians 15:33).

Above all, your quality of life results from your relationship with Christ. He is life itself and everything good in life flows from Him. When you grow in your personal relationship with Jesus—it affects the growth of your other relationships. Relationship building in heaven—builds relationships on earth. Ultimately, Jesus is the life to model and follow. The resurrected life of Christ gives you the spiritual stamina to experience a quality life.

“Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this”? Yes, Lord,” she replied, “I believe…” (John 11:25-27a).

Who are the wise people I spend time with? Am I investing in quality relationships?

Related Readings: Psalm 56:13; 2 Corinthians 6:14; Philippians 2:1-4; 1 John 1:7

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There is a constant allure for emotional connection between a woman and a man. A pure motive of care for someone other than your spouse can easily turn into emotional unfaithfulness. An emotional needy woman at work will give signs to seeking men who are unfulfilled at home. It seems exciting and inviting, but in the end—it wrecks homes.

This juvenile junket flies into the face of what Jesus wants and expects. Married couples are meant to fulfill their emotional needs within their marriage experience. This is why it’s imperative to process past and present pain in a healthy manner, so communication and care can flourish, thus feeding each other’s emotional desires. Husbands and wives hunger for emotional wholeness with the one they have become “one flesh” with under God’s purview.

“That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).

Is the bond with your spouse beyond the surface of superficial sex? Remember those long talks you had before you were married? When was the last time you processed your feelings together in a meaningful conversation? It may mean holding hands, looking each other in the eyes and apologizing for hurting his or her heart. Engaged emotions stay engaged.

Husbands if you are emotionally dead, you will kill your marriage. Learn to loosen up and express how you feel. Yes, it is uncomfortable to be vulnerable, but this is a process that God blesses in growing your relationship with your wife. And wives, do not look for emotional support from a man that’s not your husband. Stay focused on Christ’s comfort, seek out professional help to heal your heart—and learn how to approach your husband.

Emotional faithfulness causes a marriage to flourish with fulfilling encounters of loving communication and care. A statement like, “I am sorry you had to experience that pain”, begins to describe your dialogue. You simply listen, to learn and enter into their hurting heart, instead of prescribing solutions and offering pep talks. Emotional fidelity finds a home in relationships that seek to understand, comfort, and offer hope and timely truth.

Most of all—seek together truth found in God’s word. Ignorance of proven principles that build healthy marriages is a recipe for relational disaster. Invite the Holy Spirit to jointly instruct your minds and to knit your humble hearts together in love and kindness. Seek out other married couples to learn from that are good models of emotional faithfulness.

“That their hearts may be encouraged, being knit together in love, and attaining to all riches of the full assurance of understanding, to the knowledge of the mystery of God, both of the Father and of Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge” (Colossians 2:2-3).

What relationship do I need to avoid because it is creating emotional unfaithfulness?

Related Readings: Genesis 2:18a; Proverbs 15:1; 29:11; Matthew 7:1; 2 Corinthians 1:3-7

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