My son-in-law Todd Coons and four of his friends meet monthly for accountability. Below is a good outline to follow as you are developing your own accountability group. I joined an accountability group 8 years ago and it has been a great value in keeping my life encouraged and accountable. Enjoy! Boyd

Men’s Breakfast – Accountability Group
2008 Outline
As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another
Proverbs 27:17

Purpose of Group:

To productively build relationships and community, and to participate in prayer, encouragement, and accountability with other men in the small group Bible study.

Frequency / Setting of Group:

Meet for breakfast once a month at same agreed upon location and time, unless another time and place has been designated. Each man will be responsible for his own breakfast payment.

Structure of Group Time:

I) Begin with relational time, general hang out, and breakfast order

II) Open in prayer, person leading/facilitating time opens or appoints another to lead

III) Discuss the following three questions, each on a major aspect of a man’s life. Take time for each guy to answer briefly:

1) Relationship with God: What is God most teaching you these days?

2) Relationship with wife/ family: What are you learning from your family?

3) Relationship with work: What is your number one issue at work?

IV) Discuss topic of the month – Either decided in advance, or a pertinent topic that is brought up by members of the group during question answer/discussion time.

V) Close time in prayer, again person leading/facilitating time closes or appoints another to lead

Group General Guidelines:

1) Everything discussed in the group is to remain confidential, unless otherwise specified.
2) Each participant does not have to answer questions or participate in topics in which they do not feel comfortable.
3) Group members will take turns facilitating the prayer and discussion time.
4) Group members will be asked to make maintaining consistent attendance, though not binding, a priority in their lives. Commitment will be made on a semester by semester basis to follow church calendar.

Future ideas for group:

Blueprint for Life – Life planning and coaching system

Man in the Mirror – Patrick Morley

Love and Respect – Emerson Eggerichs

Conformed to His Image – Ken Boa

Every Man’s Battle – Arterburn / Stoeker

Captivated – John and Stasi Eldridge

Experiencing God – Henry Blackaby

Perfect Leader – Ken Boa

Visioneering – Andy Stanley

Dan Glaze knows how to love on and invest in people. This is his job at National Christian Foundation where he’s a National Relationship Manager. Rita and I love him and his wife Donna. Below are three questions I asked him regarding relational investments…

1. What does it mean to invest in others relationally?

Investing in others relationally is sharing life upon life. Today’s culture is driving us toward isolation. We are spending more time looking at a computer screen than being face-to-face with people. I am confident that life cannot exist outside the context of relationships. We have limited time and energy and thus the most important use of our time is in the lives of others. Investing in others relationally means laying aside our desires for self and giving our life to someone else. (BTW – this is what Jesus did)

2. Why do you invest in others relationally?

There is a saying that only two things will last eternally – God’s Word and People. What then is worthy of our investment? Transformation (life change) takes place in relationships, not in isolation. I desire to be God’s touch into people’s lives. There is nothing more important than sharing life together. Someone said; “Shared joy is a double joy and shared sorrow is half a sorrow.” People are lonely today because they are building walls instead of bridges. But the main reason I invest in others is because this was God’s strategy for bringing life to a dead world. Emmanuel (God with us) selected purposeful proximity as His strategy. He could have come as an idea or a light, but He came as one of us and walked with us. The word relationship comes from the Latin relationem meaning “a bringing back, restoring.” So many, including ourselves, have the tendency to get off track to who God desires us to be. Relationships bring us back and restore us to who God created us to be. Having an intimate relationship with HIM.

3. How do you invest in others relationally?

I pour my life into the lives of others. I care for them. I invest in others by being more concerned with their needs than my own needs. I take a keen interest in their lives, their relationship with Christ, their families, their businesses, and their hobbies. There is one couple Donna and I met back in 1994. That year Donna and I intentionally decided to invest in this couple’s lives. What an amazing journey over the last 13 years. Each year, we spend 4 days together at their lake house laughing, eating, praying, crying, fishing and loving on each other. Chuck and Joanne have become almost as close as family. As I seek to serve and give to others, I end up receiving far more than I give. God’s economy is upside down from today’s culture. As I invest in the lives of others, God gives my life a huge return. There is no greater ministry than investing in others. Anthony D’Angelo states – “Treasure your relationships, not your possessions”. Relationships will give a greater return. “You have given us a new commandment to love one another even as You have loved us; so we must love one another. By this all men will know that we are Your disciples, if we have love for one another.” (John 13:34)

I have known John and Debbie Woodall since he came on staff at North Point Community Church as the Married Adult Director in 2001. I deeply admire both he and Deb’s walk with Christ and their commitment to their children. The questions they have crafted are an excellent tool for an ‘annual life audit’. Rita and I go through a similar discipline each January in anticipation of the upcoming year. Use some or all of these questions to integrate your life more fully with Christ’s and His plan for you. Enjoy!

Reflection and Preparation

by John & Debbie Woodall

The habit or practice of reflection has increased and become very important to me over time. I have noticed people are running so fast and not taking the time to sit, think, review, remember and readjust their lifestyles and schedules. With some regular times of daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly and annual reflection, it can lead to peace, stability and very purposeful living.

The following questions are to get us thinking about this past year and prepare us for “The Best Year Ever.” How am I doing in the major areas of my LIFE, MARRIAGE, FAMILY, WORK and CHURCH?

1. LIFE

A. Spirit

1) Do I love God, my Father with all my heart, soul, mind and strength?
2) Am I growing in my intimate relationship with Jesus Christ?
3) Am I living and walking by the Holy Spirit?
4) How is my time in the Scriptures? Am I delighting in and meditating on God’s Word day and night?
5) Do I find myself praying more or less about all things?
6) What 3 spiritual practices generated the greatest benefit?

B. Soul (Mind, Will and Emotions)

1) What am I doing to daily renew my mind?
2) Are my thoughts pure, lovely, noble, truthful and full of praise?
3) What are the best three books I read last year?
4) What kind of choices did I make last year?
5) Did I choose the way of life versus death? Did I choose the way of the Spirit versus the way of the flesh? Did I choose to walk by faith versus walk by sight?
6) Was I full of love, joy, peace, patience and self-control?
7) Was there any anger, guilt, greed or jealousy that needs to be resolved?

C. Body (Did I live in B.A.L.A.N.C.E?)

1) BREATHING - Am I getting enough oxygen in my blood?
2) AWARENESS - Am I paying attention to what is going on in my body?
3) LIQUIDS - Am I drinking enough water?
4) ANTIOXIDANTS - Am I taking the right of Multi, C and E?
5) CONDITIONING - Am I exercising 3-5 times a week?
6) EFFECTIVE REST - Am I getting 7-8 hours of sleep?
7) What three ways will I take better care of myself this next year?

2. MARRIAGE

A. Intimacy

1) Does my wife know she is the #1 priority relationship on the planet?
2) Am I loving my wife as Christ loves the church?
3) Are we praying together on a regular basis?
4) Are we regularly sharing what we are learning from our own relationship with Jesus Christ?
5) Am I washing and cleansing her with the Word of God?
6) Am I carefully listening to her thoughts, feelings and desires?
7) Are we enjoying many sexual and non-sexual touches?
Are we enjoying romance and physical intimacy on a regular basis?
9) Did we have an awesome anniversary celebration?
10) Have we enjoyed quarterly getaways?
11) Did we have our monthly MSM, Marriage Staff Meetings?
12) How was our “Weekly Focus” time?
13) Did I provide her the structure or spontaneity she needs and desires?
14) Did I give her the full and focused attention she deserves?
15) On a scale of 1-10, how would my wife rate our marriage?
16) What needs to be done to get it to a 10?

B. Finances

1) Did we honor the Lord with the first fruit of all our increase?
2) Did we give generously and cheerfully?
3) Did we save appropriately?
4) Did we invest for the future proportionately?
5) Did we spend moderately?
6) What financial adjustments must we make for this next year?

3. FAMILY

A. Father

B. Son

1) How am I doing as a son?
2) How did I honor my Father and Mother this past year?

C. Brother

1) How am I doing as a brother?
2) How did I love and care for my brothers and sisters?

4. WORK

A. Did I see my work as a gift from God?
B. Did I do my work as unto the Lord?
C. Am I living as a man under authority showing respect, gratefulness, a servant and quiet spirit?
D. Am I showing excellence and diligence in my work?
E. Am I taking the low place and trusting God for His invitations, appointments and exaltation in His time?
F. Am I “choosing to cheat”?
G. What three work relationships need more time?

5. CHURCH/MINISTRY

A. Am I living in community with other believers?
B. Am I investing, influencing and inviting other outsiders?
C. Where did I strategically serve in my local church?

Some additional questions:

6. In reviewing last year, what areas reveal the most progress? The least progress?

➢ Most –

➢ Least –

7. What is the wildest, most unconventional thing I could do this next year to live with more passion? What out of the box thinking could we do?

8. Who will hold me accountable to be my best self this next year?

9. The most significant way I will influence others is…

10. List 3-5 of your best achievements this past year.

11. Strengths and Successes – Identify what has worked well this past year.

12. Struggles and Stresses – What has not been working so well?

13. Habits – What are the most purposeful daily habits you could develop/upgrade over the next 12 months? Develop 1 habit at a time, not 2, not 5.

14. Clutter – Identify 3 messes or clutter projects you’d like to clean up in the next 12 months? Clutter can be anything that is taking up room in my mind…for example we have 1000 AU’s (Attention Units) and anything from a sick relative, to wayward child, to troublesome marriage, to bitterness can all take up mental and emotional capacity. We must un-clutter our minds so that we can reach full potential.

15. Character – Proverbs 22:1 says, “A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold.” Identify 3 qualities you’d like to see associated with your name as well as how you’d define each quality. I wrote the following for me.

1. Loving – That I fully received the love of God into my life and loved Him and people in return

Matthew 22:37-39 - Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ [38] This is the first and greatest commandment. [39] And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

2. Humility – Taking the low place before God and others

Luke 14:7 When he noticed how the guests picked the places of honor at the table, he told them this parable: 8 “When someone invites you to a wedding feast, do not take the place of honor, for a person more distinguished than you may have been invited. 9 If so, the host who invited both of you will come and say to you, ‘Give this man your seat.’ Then, humiliated, you will have to take the least important place. 10 But when you are invited, take the lowest place, so that when your host comes, he will say to you, ‘Friend, move up to a better place.’ Then you will be honored in the presence of all your fellow guests. 11 For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”

3. Servant – That I was more interested in the needs of others than myself.

Mark 10:43-44 – Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, [44] and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all.