“Christian marriages are called to move from being just polite to a vulnerable state of intimacy.”
Thoughts from daily Bible reading for today – December 9, 2024
That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Genesis 2:24
My wife Rita and I are blessed to know a couple who married eight years ago and enjoy a beautiful intimacy. Both lost their spouses, and the Lord led them together at their church. An excellent place for the Holy Spirit to orchestrate a date! Both are driven, yet under the influence of the Spirit, are tender toward one another. You see their intimacy in how they look at each other and talk together. Holding hands, laughing out loud, and sipping coffee while reviewing the day are fruits of their attractive intimacy. In addition, they have embraced each other’s families to love and care for them like their own. Intimacy lives beyond politeness. Intimacy does the hard relational work. Intimacy gets in the messy middle. Intimacy connects hearts!
You may say your marriage is healthy and amiable, and you enjoy each other’s company. But is it possible there may be more the Lord wants for the two of you? Because He made you for intimacy with Himself, He also invites you into intimacy with your wife or husband. You may have a date night, you travel, and you laugh together. But how do you process pain? When your spouse dings your heart, do you ignore it, hoping it won’t happen again? Do you store up the hurt until it comes out in an unhealthy manner, or do you calmly address your pain with the goal of relational repair and intimate reconnection? Rita and I are still growing to be more intimate. For us, it involves vulnerability and developing new skills to communicate truth in love often.
Christian marriages are called to move relationally from being just polite to a vulnerable state of intimacy, which the Scripture describes as one flesh. Politeness is a helpful and respectful way to relate as husband and wife, yet if we are only polite, we will politely miss out on authentic intimacy with one another. In his Systematic Theology, Wayne Grudem unpacks the deeper meaning of the image of one flesh in marriage: “The term ‘one flesh’ in marriage encompasses not only sexual union but also the spiritual, emotional, and mental unity that reflects the image of God in a committed relationship.” Wow, so beautiful how our oneness reflects God’s oneness!
To grow in intimacy in marriage, start by nurturing open communication. Share your thoughts, dreams, and even fears honestly, creating a safe space to connect emotionally. Listening without judgment helps your spouse feel valued and understood, which deepens trust. Prioritize quality time together. Dedicate regular moments, free from distractions, to enjoy each other’s company. This could be through shared activities, date nights, or simply being present without phones or interruptions. Intentional time spent together strengthens your bond. Serve each other daily in small ways. Thoughtful gestures, whether acts of service, kind words, or gentle physical touch, convey love and appreciation. As you put each other’s needs first, your connection will naturally deepen, nurturing lasting intimacy. Be polite, grow intimate, and become one flesh in Christ!
Prayer
Lord, help me grow in love and unity with my spouse. Teach me to be selfless, patient, and fully present so we may become one in heart, mind, and spirit. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Application
What relational gap needs to be filled for you to grow in intimacy with your spouse?
Related Reading
Proverbs 17:17; Ecclesiastes 4:9-10; John 15:12-13; James 4:8
Worship Resource
Lauren Daigle: Then I Will
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