Close Couples Come Together

Thoughts from daily Bible reading for today – May 22, 2017

The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 1 Corinthians 7:3-5

What happens when a husband desires physical intimacy, but his wife is too tired? Or, the wife longs for physical intimacy, but the husband is emotionally disengaged? The best approach is for the husband to honor his wife by waiting for an occasion when she is rested, and for the wife to be willfully available for him. In the second scenario, the wife can prayerfully seek to reconnect with her man’s heart, and the husband can turn his affections back to his sweetheart. When a husband and wife die to themselves and defer to their mate, life is breathed into their marriage.

The apostle Paul, who was unmarried, gives explicit instructions on how to respect and love one another in the confines of the marital bed. His detailed description elevates the importance of physical intimacy between a wife and a husband. Sex is best discussed in premarital counseling so expectations can be clarified. How often? What makes you feel loved and emotionally connected? When should we pause and focus on our relationship with the Lord? Satan seeks to sow seeds of relational neglect, so a spouse might feel disconnected and distant.

“Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour” (1 Peter 5:8, NKJV).

Remember preparation for an evening of physical intimacy starts with kind words over breakfast the morning of date night. Romance simmers deliciously in a crock pot of caring for each other throughout the day, not in the microwave of a selfish sex act at night. Emotional intimacy is a prerequisite for meaningful physical intimacy. Yes, our appearance needs to be attractive, but thoughtful actions and loving conversations are most appealing. Affections congregate at the gate of grace and mercy.

Most of all, in prayer, seek to see your spouse as your Savior sees them: sinful but forgiven, broken but on the mend, growing in grace, precious, full of potential and a child of God. Intimacy with the Almighty is meant to grow our intimacy with the ones we love the most. The oneness of physical intimacy with husband and wife is a reflection of oneness with Christ and His bride the church. Intimacy engages heart, mind, soul and body. Couples who come together often are less likely to come apart, so willingly lay down your life and joyfully lie down together.

“You are so handsome, my love, pleasing beyond words! The soft grass is our bed”… “You have captured my heart, my treasure, my bride. You hold it hostage with one glance of your eyes, with a single jewel of your necklace” (Song of Solomon 1:16, 4:9, NLT).

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