“The way of the wise is to overlook things that offend.”
Thoughts from daily Bible reading for today – January 15, 2023
A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense. Proverbs 19:11
Everyone alive has relationships and in every relationship people hurt one another. Sometimes the hurt is big; sometimes it’s small. Sometimes it’s intentional and other times it’s not. Regardless of how or why it happens, we may be tempted to become offended.
In her devotional, “The Unoffendable Heart” Roxanne Parks writes:
“Years ago, I asked the Lord to show me all the places that I had an ‘offendable heart.’ I thought this would be an exercise in Christian maturity. Little did I know; never could I have realized the extent to which there are opportunities to take offense until I opened my eyes . . . Today, I can recognize an ‘offendable heart’ so quickly. In myself. In others. Taking an offense is rampant on the news, in social media, and in our homes. An easily offendable heart can destroy relationships.”
So true. Offense can destroy relationships because it is defined as “something that outrages the moral or physical senses; the act of displeasing or affronting.”
When someone hurts or wrongs us, it’s natural to be hurt. It’s normal to feel that injustice has occurred—but it’s a choice to hold onto offense.
Proverbs 19:11 says that it’s to our glory to “overlook an offense.” This scripture reveals that it’s the way of the wise not to hold onto those things that offend. It’s wise to let go and move on.
Offense is dangerous and harmful to relationships because it’s blinding. It’s blinding because it will cause you to see things in another person and overlook their good qualities. It’s as if we build up a case against them and the condition of our heart causes us to make mental lists of their shortcomings.
We see this in marriages all the time. Perhaps a wife hurts her husband by nagging him which makes him feel foolish. Granted, this would be difficult to handle, especially if he feels as if his voice is not being heard. But rather than tell his wife that he needs her not to nag and rather than forgive, he builds up offense against her. And once he feels offended, he is blinded. Now all he can see are her flaws, and he is blinded to her good points. Not only is she nagging, but she doesn’t clean the house enough, she spends too much time with her friends, she never stops talking and her laugh is irritating. Offenses blind us to good in others and cause us to only see the bad in them.
It’s important to take care of the condition of our hearts because our hearts are the lens through which we see others and interpret their words and actions.
To decide not to hold onto offense doesn’t mean that we never call out wrong, or never stand up for what’s right. It doesn’t mean that others are never held accountable for sin. There are times when this is necessary. But there is a difference between standing up for what’s right and holding grudges, holding onto unforgiveness, and holding onto offense.
If you want to maintain good relationships, in your marriage, with friends, or with other loved ones, or strangers on the internet, let go of offenses. It doesn’t mean that you need to become a doormat. It doesn’t mean that you don’t notice injustice, it just means that you forgive and move on.
“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger” (James 1:19).
Prayer
Lord, help me to be quick to overlook offenses. Help me be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to become angry. Help me to bless those who hurt or irritate me. Amen.
Application
This week, do what Roxanne Parks did and take an inventory to notice those times when you are offended. Ask the Lord for His help in having His heart toward others and those things that rub you the wrong way.
Related Reading
2 Timothy 2:24; Ecclesiastes 7:21-22; Proverbs 12:16
Worship Resource
Hillsong: Jesus, I Need You
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