“There are times when it’s good to say yes, and there are times when it’s best to say no.”
Thoughts from daily Bible reading for today –May 2, 2023
. . . but just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts. 1 Thessalonians 2:4
Some years ago, “boundaries” became a buzz word. People everywhere were saying, “I’m setting a boundary” and asking, “How do I set boundaries with that person?”
Some believers get confused about boundaries. (I know I’ve been there!) They think it’s unbiblical and unkind. They believe the only way with others during conflict is to make peace because you shouldn’t ever disappoint or hurt anyone, right?
Certainly, Christ calls us to make peace with others whenever possible (Romans 12:18), but there are times when it just can’t be done because the heart of the other person isn’t right. (They may even be under the influence of the devil. See Matthew 16:21-23). And, if you continue interacting with them, it will only increase confusion, conflict, and give the devil a foothold.
For example, when we look at Scripture, we see that even Christ set boundaries with unsafe people—and if Jesus set boundaries, then it’s okay for you and me to set them too. Here are a few examples from Scripture of how Christ said no and didn’t allow His boundaries to be moved.
In Luke 4:28-30, Scripture says that when a crowd was trying to throw Jesus off the edge of a cliff for claiming to be the Messiah, He didn’t try to talk to convince them He was who He said He was. He didn’t try to reason with them. He knew there was no use. He wasn’t motivated out of unhealthy peacekeeping or insecurity to say He was sorry about anything. Instead, He fought His way through the crowd and went His own way to avoid their abuse.
In Matthew 21:23-27; 22:15-22, religious leaders asked Jesus baiting questions to make Him look foolish. When they did this, He didn’t try to make himself look good by changing their mind. Because He was confident of His identity as the Christ and the Son of God, and because He knew the motives of their hearts, He didn’t allow Himself to be baited. Instead, he interacted with the religious leaders using courage and wisdom. He knew they wanted to trap Him with their words, and He called them out on their motives.
In Matthew 16:21-23 when Jesus shared with the disciples that He had to go to Jerusalem, suffer at the hands of the elders and that He would be crucified, Peter took Him aside and began to rebuke Him.
“’Never, Lord!’ he said. ‘This shall never happen to you!’ Jesus turned and said to Peter, ‘Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.’”
Christ had boundaries and said no to Peter’s agenda. He didn’t allow man’s plans to make Him stop moving forward with what the Father asked Him to do. He was confident of His mission and didn’t allow even someone who loved Him to deter Him from fulfilling God’s will.
In Luke 23:8-9, before His crucifixion, when Herod hoped Christ would perform a sign and Herod plied Jesus with many questions, “Jesus gave him no answer.” Again, he didn’t allow Himself to be manipulated.
There are times when it’s good to say yes, and there are times when it’s best to say no. There are some people that it’s best to have boundaries with rather than wrangle with.
Being a faithful believer doesn’t mean always allowing others to have their way or never making anyone angry. You—and I—are to live for an audience of One. He is the One we need to seek to please, just as Jesus sought to please His father.
“If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ” (Galatians 1:10).
Prayer
Lord, give me the courage to attempt to make peace when needed and give me the wisdom to know when it’s time to set a boundary or walk away. Thank you, Jesus. Amen.
Application
Do you need to set boundaries with someone today? If so, don’t waste time. Do it now.
Related Reading
Acts 7:54; Luke 6:11; Acts 5:29
Worship Resource
Steven Curtis Chapman: Whatever
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