Thoughts from daily Bible reading for today – May 7, 2019
What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? Romans 8:31
Many years ago, when I first came to Christ, a prayer that was very important to me was not answered the way I wanted. I felt as if my heart was shattered from disappointment.
Unfortunately, instead of pressing into Christ and giving Him my pain, I became angry with Him. I couldn’t understand why He would allow me to suffer so deeply and deny me the one thing He knew would bring me the joy I so desperately desired. During many tearful nights I asked, “Lord why did you let this happen?” and “Why have I suffered when I’ve been trying to do your will?
I hate to admit it, but during this season as a young Christian, I believed the lie that my obedience was useless. I felt that faith didn’t “work” because I didn’t get what I wanted. (Unfortunately, this is how many people view their relationship with God. They feel if they are obedient, that He is obligated to reward them with what they desire.)
I blamed him because I thought He had purposely hurt me and denied my request because He didn’t truly care for me.
And as a result, my relationship with the Lord became strained. I had faithfully journaled for many years, and had consistently been reading my Bible, but during this season of believing God had done me wrong, I would see my Bible on the shelf and think, “I don’t want to read that” and my journaling came to a halt. It was just too painful to open my heart to Someone I didn’t fully trust. I felt as if something had changed in my relationship with the Lord. I tried to talk to a friend about it, saying that my heart was different but I didn’t understand why. It almost felt physical, as if there was a wall in my chest.
It’s obvious now that I was wounded and had a hardened heart, but back then I didn’t understand that my relationship with God had been negatively affected because of my disappointment. And, I also didn’t understand that the way I handled my disappointment led my heart to stay broken much longer than necessary.
All these years later, I know that when we blame God for our troubles, when we hold a grudge against Him, or pin injustice on Him, we suffer double. What I mean is, we suffer from the pain of our trial, but we also suffer because we have turned away from the Comforter and the One who can heal our broken hearts.
The source of our accusation of God is clear. Revelation 12:10 names Satan the Accuser and says that he accuses us before God day and night. But he doesn’t just accuse us to God. He accuses God to us too. He wants us to believe that the Lord has been unfaithful when our prayers are not answered how we desire, or when trials seem to overwhelm. If he can deceive us into blaming God, he can make us suffer double. Don’t let it happen. Choose trust instead.
“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin” (Hebrews 4:15-16).
Prayer
Lord, even though I don’t understand why some of my prayers aren’t answered the way I want, and even though life hurts sometimes, I choose to continue to trust you. You died on the cross to prove your love to me, you won’t ever stop doing good to me all the days of my life.
Application
If you are struggling from something that has happened to you, don’t blame God. He is your source of comfort. He is your source of emotional healing. He is your Counselor. Give your burden to Him and choose to trust Him with “No,” no matter how much it hurts.
Related Reading
Psalm 37:4; Philippians 1:6; Hebrews 5:7
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