Have The Courage To Be Disagreeable

Thoughts from daily Bible reading for today – May 28, 2018

Then King Rehoboam consulted the elders who had served his father Solomon during his lifetime. “How would you advise me to answer these people?” he asked. They replied, “If today you will be a servant to these people and serve them and give them a favorable answer, they will always be your servants.” But Rehoboam rejected the advice the elders gave him and consulted the young men who had grown up with him and were serving him. 1 Kings 12:6-8

I do not like to be disagreeable or for others to be disagreeable, but sometimes it is necessary to discover God’s best. Without push back we can be pulled in the wrong direction by noisy distractions or by people with unscrupulous motives—like a lust for money or a need to feel in control. At work I have given our team permission to ask me at anytime, “Are you sure”? This reality check helps us “tap the brakes” to make sure we are operating with excellence by serving others with total customer satisfaction and at home this pause keeps us accountable to our limited amount of time and money. Courage to be disagreeable takes time to agree on the best decision.

King Rehoboam had big shoes to fill as he ascended to the throne by following his father King Solomon. Wisely, he sought advice from those advanced in years, who knew the heart of the former King and what style of leadership would best serve the citizens. But instead of heeding to sage advice from the wise, the new king capitulated to the foolish ideas from his friends, who told him what he wanted to hear. Sadly, the citizens became subjects under Rehoboam’s tyranny.

“Deceit is in the hearts of those who plot evil, but those who promote peace have joy” (Proverbs 12:20).

Perhaps at home conversations would grow more authentic if everyone knew for sure they could disagree without being dismissed or disciplined. Give everyone permission to respectfully ask, “Are you sure”? Healthy conversations create tension, but conflict is good when it brings clarity. Do team members at work feel the freedom to challenge your ideas? If not, you are not making the best decisions. Make sure to facilitate discussions, so decisions have everyone’s fingerprints on the outcome. People feel responsible when they are part of crafting ideas and setting goals.

Do you need to be more outspoken with your peers, your supervisor or your spouse? Has your tendency to be a people pleaser caused you to keep quiet for fear of rejection? If so, Christ is calling you to a higher level of courage; by speaking up you can avoid stuffing your anger. Better to be bold, so your family or your colleagues come to the best decision, than to stand by and watch them flounder. By speaking up now, you may prevent unintended consequences later. Use clarifying questions like: “Are you sure”? “Have you prayed about it”? “I like your idea, but what about this thought”? “Maybe we ask a trusted advisor what she thinks”? Ask Christ for courage and the Holy Spirit will give you a calming, humble boldness. Courage speaks up in love!

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you” (Deuteronomy 31:6).

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